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Twain, Mark, 1835-1910

"Tom Sawyer Abroad"

But I notice they always git come up with; all you got to
do is to wait.
Well, we went out in the woods on the hill, and Tom told us what it was.
It was a crusade.
"What's a crusade?" I says.
He looked scornful, the way he's always done when he was ashamed of a
person, and says:
"Huck Finn, do you mean to tell me you don't know what a crusade is?"
"No," says I, "I don't. And I don't care to, nuther. I've lived till now
and done without it, and had my health, too. But as soon as you tell me,
I'll know, and that's soon enough. I don't see any use in finding out
things and clogging up my head with them when I mayn't ever have any
occasion to use 'em. There was Lance Williams, he learned how to talk
Choctaw here till one come and dug his grave for him. Now, then, what's a
crusade? But I can tell you one thing before you begin; if it's a
patent-right, there's no money in it. Bill Thompson he--"
"Patent-right!" says he. "I never see such an idiot. Why, a crusade is a
kind of war."
I thought he must be losing his mind. But no, he was in real earnest, and
went right on, perfectly ca'm.
"A crusade is a war to recover the Holy Land from the paynim."
"Which Holy Land?"
"Why, the Holy Land--there ain't but one."
"What do we want of it?"
"Why, can't you understand? It's in the hands of the paynim, and it's our
duty to take it away from them."
"How did we come to let them git hold of it?"
"We didn't come to let them git hold of it.


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