Unfortunately, like most plans, it required capital, and William had
no capital. Occasionally William's elder brother Robert would supply
a few shillings without inconvenient questions, but it happened that
Robert was ignoring William's existence at that time. For Robert had
(not for the first time) discovered his Ideal, and the Ideal had been
asked to lunch the previous week. For days before Robert had made
William's life miserable. He had objected to William's unbrushed hair
and unmanicured hands, and untidy person, and noisy habits. He had
bitterly demanded what She would think on being asked to a house where
she might meet such an individual as William; he had insisted that
William should be taught habits of cleanliness and silence before She
came; he had hinted darkly that a man who had William for a brother
was hampered considerably in his love affairs because She would think
it was a queer kind of family where anyone like William was allowed to
grow up. He had reserved some of his fervour for the cook. She must
have a proper lunch--not stews and stuff they often had--there must be
three vegetables and there must be cheese straws. Cook must learn to
make better cheese straws. And William, having swallowed insults for
three whole days, planned vengeance. It was a vengeance which only
William could have planned or carried out. For only William could have
seized a moment just before lunch when the meal was dished up and cook
happened to be out of the kitchen to carry the principal dishes down
to the coal cellar and conceal them beneath the best nuts.
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