Brag! brag! Life is one great game of brag!
"Buy my soap, oh ye people, and ye will never look old, and the hair
will grow again on your bald places, and ye will never be poor or
unhappy again,; and mine is the only true soap. Oh, beware of
spurious imitations!"
"Buy my lotion, all ye that suffer from pains in the head, or the
stomach, or the feet, or that have broken arms, or broken hearts, or
objectionable mothers-in-law; and drink one bottle a day, and all your
troubles will be ended."
"Come to my church, all ye that want to go to Heaven, and buy my penny
weekly guide, and pay my pew-rates; and, pray ye, have nothing to do
with my misguided brother over the road. _This_ is the only safe
way!"
"Oh, vote for me, my noble and intelligent electors, and send our
party into power, and the world shall be a new place, and there shall
be no sin or sorrow any more! And each free and independent voter
shall have a bran new Utopia made on purpose for him, according to his
own ideas, with a good-sized, extra-unpleasant purgatory attached, to
which he can send everybody he does not like. Oh! do not miss this
chance!"
Oh! listen to my philosophy, it is the best and deepest.
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