And yet the girl had shaped no complaint about
the dulness of this tranquil routine, even in her inmost unspoken thoughts.
She was happy, after a quiet fashion. She had a vague sense that there was
a broader, grander kind of life possible to womanhood; a life as different
from her own as the broad river that lost itself in the sea was different
from the placid mill-stream that bounded her father's orchard. But she
had no sick fretful yearning for that wider life. To win her father's
affection, to see her brother restored to his abandoned home--these were
her girlish dreams and simple unselfish hopes.
In all the months Clarissa Lovel had spent at Mill Cottage she had never
crossed the boundary of that lost domain she loved so well. There was a
rustic bridge across the mill-stream, and a wooden gate opening into Arden
woods. Clarissa very often stood by this gate, leaning with folded arms
upon the topmost bar, and looking into the shadowy labyrinth of beech and
pine with sad dreamy eyes, but she never went beyond the barrier. Honest
Martha asked her more than once why she never walked in the wood, which
was so much pleasanter than the dusty high-road, or even Arden common, an
undulating expanse of heathy waste beyond the village, where Clarissa would
roam for hours on the fine spring days, with a sketch-book under her arm.
The friendly peasant woman could not understand that obstinate avoidance of
a beloved scene--that sentiment which made her lost home seem to Clarissa a
thing to shrink from, as she might have shrunk from beholding the face of
the beloved dead.
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