She too was
deeply moved. She drew a chair close to him, and sat down by his side, but
dared not speak.
"It is just as well that you should hear the story from me," he said, after
a long pause. "You may hear hints and whispers about it from other people
by-and-by perhaps, if you go more into society; for it was known to
several. It is best you should know the truth. It is a common story enough
in the history of the world; but whenever it happens, it is enough to make
the misery of one man's life. I was not always what you have known me,
Clarissa,--a worn-out machine, dawdling away the remnant of a wasted
existence. I once had hopes and passions like the rest of mankind--perhaps
more ardent than the most. Your mother was the loveliest and most
fascinating woman I ever met, and from the hour of our first meeting I had
but one thought--how I should win her for my wife. It was not a prudent
marriage. She was my equal by birth; but she was the daughter of a ruined
spendthrift, and had learnt extravagance and recklessness in her very
nursery. She thought me much richer than I was, and I did not care to
undeceive her. Later, when we were married, and I could see that her
extravagant habits were hastening my ruin, I was still too much a moral
coward to tell her the naked truth. I could not bear to come between her
and caprices that seemed a natural accompaniment to her charms.
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