How the memory of the
place came back to her this chill March morning!--the tall elms rocking in
the wind, the rooks' nests tossing in the topmost branches, and the hoarse
cawing of discontented birds bewailing the tardiness of spring.
"It will be my darling's home in the days to come," she said to herself;
but even this thought brought no consolation. She dared not face her son's
future. Would it not involve severance from her? Now, while he was an
infant, she might hold him; but by-and-by the father's stern claim would
be heard. They would take the boy away from her--teach him to despise and
forget her. She fancied herself wandering and watching in Arden Park, a
trespasser, waiting for a stolen glimpse of her child's face.
"I shall die before that time comes," she thought gloomily.
Some such fancy as this held her absorbed when the high mass concluded, and
the congregation began to disperse. The great organ was pealing out one of
Mozart's Hallelujahs. There was some secondary service going on at either
end of the church. Clarissa still knelt, with her face hidden in her hands,
not praying, only conjuring up dreadful pictures of the future. Little by
little the crowd melted away; there were only a few worshippers murmuring
responses in the distance; the last chords of the Hallelujah crashed and
resounded under the vaulted roof; and at last Clarissa looked up and found
herself almost alone.
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