He asked
himself who spoke, and, after looking slowly round as if expecting to see
somebody, turned again his eyes towards the sea.
"You say that because you do not understand the meaning of my words," she
said sadly. "Between you and my mother there never was any love. When I
returned to Sambir I found the place which I thought would be a peaceful
refuge for my heart, filled with weariness and hatred--and mutual
contempt. I have listened to your voice and to her voice. Then I saw
that you could not understand me; for was I not part of that woman? Of
her who was the regret and shame of your life? I had to choose--I
hesitated. Why were you so blind? Did you not see me struggling before
your eyes? But, when he came, all doubt disappeared, and I saw only the
light of the blue and cloudless heaven--"
"I will tell you the rest," interrupted Almayer: "when that man came I
also saw the blue and the sunshine of the sky. A thunderbolt has fallen
from that sky, and suddenly all is still and dark around me for ever. I
will never forgive you, Nina; and to-morrow I shall forget you! I shall
never forgive you," he repeated with mechanical obstinacy while she sat,
her head bowed down as if afraid to look at her father.
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