Altogether I did not dislike it, though it did
not seem to me particularly worth while. To-day my wife tells me
that they told the Fitzpatricks that it was a great pleasure seeing
me, because I was so modest and unaffected. That is a courteous way
of concealing their disappointment that I was not more brilliant.
But, good heavens, what did they expect? I suppose, indeed I have
no doubt, that if I had talked mysteriously about my book, and had
described the genesis of it, and my method of working, they would
have preferred that. Just as in reminiscences of the Duke of
Wellington, the people who saw him in later life seem to have been
struck dumb by a sort of tearful admiration at the sight of the
Duke condescending to eat his dinner, or to light a guest's bedroom
candle. Perhaps if I had been more simple-minded I should have
talked frankly about myself. I don't know; it seems to me all
rather vulgar. But my visitors are kindly and courteous people, and
felt, I am sure, that they were both receiving and conferring
benefits. They will like to describe me and my house, and they will
feel that I am pleased at being received on equal terms into county
society. I don't put this down at all cynically; but they are not
people with whom I have anything in common.
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