I can't help you more than that, and I am saying exactly
what I feel."
I looked at the worn face and kind eyes of the man whose whole life
is spent in plumbing abysses of human suffering. What a terrible
life, and yet what a noble one! He spoke as though he had no other
case in the world to consider except my own; yet when I went back
to the waiting-room to get my hat, and looked round on the anxious-
looking crowd of patients waiting there, each with a secret burden,
I felt how heavy a load he must be carrying.
There is a certain strength, after all, in having to live by rule;
and I have derived, I find, a certain comfort in having to abstain
from things that are likely to upset me, not because I wish it, but
because some one else has ordered it. So I struggle on. The worst
of nerves is that they are so whimsical; one never knows when to
expect their assaults; the temptation is to think that they attack
one when it is most inconvenient; but this is not quite the case.
They spare one when one expects discomfort; and again when one
feels perfectly secure, they leap upon one from their lair. The one
secret of dealing with the malady is to think of it as a definite
ailment, not to regard the attacks as the vagaries of a healthy
mind, but as the symptoms of an unhealthy one.
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