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Benson, Arthur Christopher, 1862-1925

"The Altar Fire"

I did my best to help
him--marriage was the one thing he wanted; if he could only have
been pushed into it, he would have made a perfect husband, because
not only is he very much of a gentleman, but he could never bear to
fail any one who depended on him; but he has got the unhappiest
mind I know; the moment that he has formed a plan, and sees his way
clear, he at once begins to think of all the reasons against it--
not the selfish reasons, by any means; in this case he reflected, I
am sure, how little he had to offer; he could not bring himself to
feel that any one could really care for him; and then, too, he
never really cared for anything quite enough himself. Or if he did,
he found all sorts of refined reasons why he ought not to do so. If
only he had been a little more selfish, it would have been all
right. Indeed," said Mrs. T----, with a smile, "he is the only
person of whom I could truthfully say that if he had only been a
little more vulgar, he would have been a much happier person."
I saw a good deal of Willett after that, and he interested me
increasingly. I verified Mrs. T----'s judgment about him, and found
it true in every particular. I suppose there was some lack of
vitality about him, because the more I knew of him the more I found
to admire.


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