It's
always difficult to talk or write about one's intimate religious
feelings, and you've been the only person to whom I ever have been
able to talk about them. However much I admire and revere Father
Rowley I doubt if I could talk or write to him about myself as I do
to you.
Until I came here I don't think I ever quite realized all that the
Blessed Sacrament means. I had accepted the Sacrifice of the Mass
as one accepts so much in our creed, without grasping its full
implication. If anybody were to have put me through a catechism
about the dogma I should have answered with theological exactitude,
without any appearance of misapprehending the meaning of it; but it
was not until I came here that its practical reality--I don't know
if I'm expressing myself properly or not, I'm pretty sure I'm not;
I don't mean practical application and I don't mean any kind of
addition to my faith; perhaps what I mean is that I've learnt to
grasp the mystery of the Mass outside myself, outside that is to
say my own devotion, my own awe, as a practical fact alive to these
people here. Sometimes when I go to Mass I feel as people who
watched Our Lord with His disciples and followers must have felt.
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