I don't accept your condemnation of the Abbey as
pseudo-monasticism, though I can quite well understand that my
account of it might lead you to make such a criticism. The trouble
with me is that my emotions and judgment are always quarrelling. I
suppose you might say that is true of most people. It's like the
palmist who tells everybody that he is ruled by his head or his
heart, as the case may be. But when one approaches the problem of
religion (let alone what is called the religious life) one is
terribly perplexed to know which is to be obeyed. I don't think
that you can altogether rule out emotion as a touchstone of truth.
The endless volumes of St. Thomas Aquinas, through which I've been
wading, do not cope with the fact that the whole of his vast
intellectual and severely logical structure is built up on the
assumption of faith, which is the gift of emotion, not judgment.
The whole system is a petitio principii really.
I did not mean to embark on a discussion of the question of the
Ultimate Cause of religion, but to argue with you about the
religious life! The Abbot Paphnutius told Cassian that there were
three sorts of vocation--ex Deo, per hominem, and ex necessitate.
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