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Farnol, Jeffery, 1878-1952

"The Amateur Gentleman"

And his eyes were wide and
guileless--the eyes of a cherub; but his buttons!
Yea, forsooth, it was all in his buttons as they winked slyly one to
another as much as to say:
"Aha! we don't know why his Lordship's nankeens are greened at the
knees, not we! nor why the gent's lower lip is unduly swelled. Lord
love your eyes and limbs, oh no!"
"What, my imp of innocence!" exclaimed the Viscount. "Where have you
sprung from?"
"'Edge, m'lud."
"Ah! and what might you have been doing in the hedge now?"
"Think'n', m'lud."
"And what were you thinking?"
"I were think'n', m'lud, as the tall genelman here is a top-sawyer
wi' 'is daddies, m'lud. I was."
"Aha! so you've been watching, eh?"
"Not watchin'--oh no, m'lud; I just 'appened ter notice--that's all,
m'lud."
"Ha!" exclaimed the Viscount; "then I suppose you happened to notice
me being--knocked down?"
"No, m'lud; ye see, I shut my eyes--every time."
"Every time, eh!" said his Lordship, with his whimsical smile.
"Oh Loyalty, thy name is Milo! But hallo!" he broke off, "I believe
you've been fighting again--come here!"
"Fightin', m'lud! What, me?"
"What's the matter with your face--it's all swollen; there, your
cheek?"
"Swellin', m'lud; I don't feel no swellin'.


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