" And the Viscount began to rummage among the bedclothes,
to feel and fumble under pillow and bolster, and eventually dragged
forth a woefully crumpled document which he smoothed out upon his
knees, and from which he began to read as follows:
MY DEAR HORATIO.
"As soon as I saw that' t--i--o,' Bev, I knew it was no go. Had it
been merely a--c--e I should have nourished hopes, but the 't--i--o'
slew 'em--killed 'em stone dead and prepared me for a screed in my
Honored Roman's best style, bristling with the Divine Right of
Fathers, and, Bev--I got it. Listen:"
Upon reading your long and very eloquent letter, I was surprised
to learn, firstly, that you required money, and secondly to observe
that you committed only four solecisms in spelling,
("Gives me one at the very beginning, you'll notice,
Bev.")
As regards the money, you will, I am sure, be amazed, nay astounded,
to learn that you have already exceeded your allowance by some five
hundred pounds--
("So I was, Bev, begad--I thought it was eight.")
As regards your spelling--
("Ah! here he leads again with his left, and gets one in,--low,
Bev, low!")
As regards your spelling, as you know, I admire originality in
all things; but it has, hitherto, been universally conceded that the
word "eliminate" shall not and cannot begin with the letters i-l-l!
"Vanquish" does not need a k.
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