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Farnol, Jeffery, 1878-1952

"The Amateur Gentleman"

No,
sir, Fate's a werry wexed problem, sir, and I don't understand it,
no, nor ever shall."
"But this was very simple," said Barnabas, slipping his hand in
Mr. Shrig's arm, and leading him away from the barn, "very simple
indeed, I got here before they came, and hid in the loft. Then,
while they were waiting for me down below, you came and frightened
them away."
"Ah! So they meant business, did they?"
"Yes," said Barnabas, nodding grimly, "they certainly meant business,
--especially Mr. Chich--"
"Ssh!" said Mr. Shrig, glancing round, "call 'im Number Two. Sir,
Number Two is a extra-special, super-fine, over-weight specimen, 'e
is. I've knowed a many 'Capitals' in my time, but I never knowed
such a Capital o' Capital Coves as 'im. Sir, Vistling Dick vas a
innercent, smiling babe, and young B. is a snowy, pet lamb alongside
o' Number Two. Capital Coves like 'im only 'appen, and they only
'appen every thousand year or so. Ecod! I 'm proud o' Number Two.
And talking of 'im, I 'appened to call on Nick the Cobbler, last
night."
"Oh?"
"Ah! and I found 'im vith 'is longest awl close 'andy--all on
account o' Number Two.


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