But the freedom was
what was most in the place and the hour, it was the freedom that
most brought him round again to the youth of his own that he had
long ago missed. He could have explained little enough to-day
either why he had missed it or why, after years and years, he
should care that he had; the main truth of the actual appeal of
everything was none the less that everything represented the
substance of his loss put it within reach, within touch, made it,
to a degree it had never been, an affair of the senses. That was
what it became for him at this singular time, the youth he had long
ago missed--a queer concrete presence, full of mystery, yet full of
reality, which he could handle, taste, smell, the deep breathing of
which he could positively hear. It was in the outside air as well
as within; it was in the long watch, from the balcony, in the
summer night, of the wide late life of Paris, the unceasing soft
quick rumble, below, of the little lighted carriages that, in the
press, always suggested the gamblers he had seen of old at Monte
Carlo pushing up to the tables. This image was before him when he
at last became aware that Chad was behind.
"She tells me you put it all on ME"--he had arrived after this
promptly enough at that information; which expressed the case
however quite as the young man appeared willing for the moment to
leave it.
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