Beginning with the marriage of her mother to the
French professor, Berene gave a detailed account of her own sad and
troubled life, and the shadow which the father's appetite for drugs
cast over her whole youth. "They say," she wrote, "that there is no
personal devil in existence. I think this is true; he has taken the
form of drugs and spirituous liquors, and so his work of devastation
goes on." Then followed the story of the sacrilegious marriage to
save her father from suicide, of her early widowhood; and the proffer
of the Baroness to give her a home. Of her life of servitude there,
her yearning for an education, and her meeting with "Apollo," as she
designated Preston Cheney. "For truly he was like the glory of the
rising day to me, the first to give me hope, courage and unselfish
aid. I loved him, I worshipped him. He loved me, but he strove to
crush and kill this love because he had worked out an ambitious
career for himself. To extricate himself from many difficulties and
embarrassments, and to further his ambitious dreams, he betrothed
himself to the daughter of a rich and powerful man. He made no
profession of love, and she asked none. She was incapable of giving
or inspiring that holy passion. She only asked to be married.
"I only asked to be loved.
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