There has also been much adverse criticism
of our manners or our excess of manners, though I have never heard
that any diplomats have, on this account, objected to being sent to China.
We Chinese are therefore in the same boat as the Americans.
In regard to manners neither of us find much favor with foreigners,
though for diametrically opposite reasons: the Americans are accused
of observing too few formalities, and we of being too formal.
The Americans are direct and straight-forward. They will tell you
to your face that they like you, and occasionally they also have
very little hesitation in telling you that they do not like you.
They say frankly just what they think. It is immaterial to them
that their remarks are personal, complimentary or otherwise.
I have had members of my own family complimented on their good looks
as if they were children. In this respect Americans differ greatly
from the English. The English adhere with meticulous care
to the rule of avoiding everything personal. They are very much afraid
of rudeness on the one hand, and of insincerity or flattery on the other.
Even in the matter of such a harmless affair as a compliment to a foreigner
on his knowledge of English, they will precede it with a request for pardon,
and speak in a half-apologetic manner, as if complimenting
were something personal. The English and the Americans are closely related,
they have much in common, but they also differ widely,
and in nothing is the difference more conspicuous than in their conduct.
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