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Wu, Tingfang, 1842-1922

"America, through the spectacles of an Oriental diplomat"

She told me that she was going to New York
to embark on a steamer for Germany, with the intention of entering
a German college. She was undertaking this long journey alone.
Such an incident would be impossible in China; even in England,
or indeed in any European country, I hardly believe that
a respectable young girl would be allowed to take such a journey
without some trusty friend to look after her. But in America
this is a common occurrence, and it is a credit to the administration,
and speaks volumes for the good government of the country,
that for sensible wide-awake American girls such undertakings
are perfectly safe.
This notion of independence and freedom has modified the relation
of children to their parents. Instead of children being required
to show respect and filial obedience, the obligation of mutual love and esteem
is cultivated. Parents would not think of ordering a girl or a boy
to do anything, however reasonable; in all matters they treat them
as their equals and friends; nor would a girl submit to an arbitrary order
from her mother, for she does not regard her as a superior,
but as her friend and companion. I find it is a common practice
among American girls to engage themselves in marriage
without consulting their parents. Once I had a serious talk on this subject
with a young couple who were betrothed. I asked them if they had the consent
of their parents. They both answered emphatically that it was not necessary,
and that it was their business and not their parents'.


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