I told them that although it was their business, they might have shown
some respect to their parents by consulting them before committing themselves
to this important transaction. They answered that they did not agree with me,
and as it concerned their own happiness alone, they had a perfect right
to decide the matter for themselves. This shows the extreme limit
to which the Americans carry their theory of independence. Unless I am
greatly mistaken, I fear this is a typical and not an isolated case.
I believe that in many cases, after they had made up their minds to marry,
the young people would inform their respective parents of their engagement,
but I question if they would subordinate their own wishes
to the will of their parents, or ask their consent to their engagement.
Now let us see how all this is managed in China. Here the parties
most interested have no voice in the matter. The parents,
through their friends, or sometimes through the professional match-makers,
arrange the marriage, but only after the most strict and diligent inquiries
as to the character, position, and suitability of temper and disposition
of the persons for whom the marriage contract is being prepared.
This is sometimes done with the knowledge of the interested parties,
but very often they are not consulted. After an engagement is thus made
it cannot be broken off, not even by the young people themselves,
even though he or she may plead that the arrangement was made without
his or her knowledge or consent.
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