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Wu, Tingfang, 1842-1922

"America, through the spectacles of an Oriental diplomat"


To take great pains and spend large sums to provide nice food
for people who cannot enjoy it because they have to talk to one another,
seems a pity. Let one man talk to the rest and leave them leisure to eat,
is my suggestion.
The opportunities afforded at the dining table may be turned
to many useful purposes. Of course not all are ill-paired,
and many young men and ladies meet, sit side by side, engage in a friendly,
pleasant conversation, renew their acquaintance at other times,
and finally merge their separate paths in the highway of marriage.
Perhaps China might borrow a leaf from this custom and substitute
dinner parties for go-betweens. The dinner-party method, however,
has its dangers as well as its advantages -- it depends on the point of view.
Personal peculiarities and defects, if any, can be easily detected
by the way in which the conversation is carried on, and the manner in which
the food is handled. It has sometimes happened that the affianced
have cancelled their engagement after a dinner party. On the other hand,
matters of great import can often be arranged at the dinner table better
than anywhere else. Commercial transactions involving millions of dollars
have frequently been settled while the parties were sipping champagne;
even international problems, ending in elaborate negotiations and treaties,
have been first discussed with the afterdinner cigar.
The atmosphere of good friendship and equality, engendered by
a well-furnished room, good cheer, pleasant company, and a genial hostess,
disarms prejudice, removes barriers, melts reserve, and disposes one to see
that there is another side to every question.


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