That I did, punctiliously, and
received an apostolic flesh-wound at Castlefidardo. It did neither the
Holy Father nor me any good, that I could see. Rome was doubtless a
very amusing place in the days of Caligula, but it has sadly fallen off
since. I passed three years in the Castle of St. Angelo, and then came
back to secular life."
"So you have no profession--you do nothing," said Newman.
"I do nothing! I am supposed to amuse myself, and, to tell the truth, I
have amused myself. One can, if one knows how. But you can't keep it up
forever. I am good for another five years, perhaps, but I foresee that
after that I shall lose my appetite. Then what shall I do? I think I
shall turn monk. Seriously, I think I shall tie a rope round my waist
and go into a monastery. It was an old custom, and the old customs were
very good. People understood life quite as well as we do. They kept
the pot boiling till it cracked, and then they put it on the shelf
altogether."
"Are you very religious?" asked Newman, in a tone which gave the inquiry
a grotesque effect.
M. de Bellegarde evidently appreciated the comical element in the
question, but he looked at Newman a moment with extreme soberness. "I am
a very good Catholic. I respect the Church. I adore the blessed Virgin.
I fear the Devil.
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