He did it too. The next time he rose late he walked down
to the river, and threw a hard-earned guinea into the water. It was
worth while, nevertheless; for he never had to punish himself again
for the same fault.
The turning point in his life came soon after his arrival at
Cambridge.
The provost sent him a message to say that he would be required to
partake of the Holy Communion at mid-term, then about three weeks
distant.
The thought of so solemn an occasion weighed heavily on his mind. He
at once set about reading devotional manuals, and sorrowed earnestly
for his past sins. So heavy, indeed, lay the burden of sin upon him
that he envied the very dogs, wishing that he could change places with
them.
For three months this state of feeling continued. But in Passion Week
the thought came to him that God had provided an Offering for him, on
whose head he could lay his sins, just as the Jewish high priest laid
the sins of the people on the head of the scapegoat. He saw dimly at
first that his sins could be, and were intended to be, transferred to
Christ; and he determined to lay them upon the Saviour, and be rid of
them.
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