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Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920

"A Traveler from Altruria: Romance"

Twelvemough's idea, too."
I learned this fact now for the first time; but, with Mrs. Makely's
warning eye upon me, I could not say so, and I made what sounded to me
like a Gothic murmur of acquiescence. It sufficed for Mrs. Makely's
purpose, at any rate, and she went on, without giving the Altrurian a
chance to say what he thought the educational effect of wall-paper would
be:
"Well, the long and short of it is that we want you to make this money for
us, Mr. Homos."
"I?" He started in a kind of horror. "My dear lady, I never made any money
in my life. I should think it _wrong_ to make money."
"In Altruria, yes. We all know how it is in your delightful country, and I
assure you that no one could respect your conscientious scruples more than
I do. But you must remember that you are in America now. In America you
have to make money, or else--get left. And then you must consider the
object, and all the good you can do, indirectly, by a little Talk on
Altruria."
He answered, blandly: "A little Talk on Altruria? How in the world should
I get money by that?"
She was only too eager to explain, and she did it with so much volubility
and at such great length that I, who am good for nothing till I have had
my cup of coffee in the morning, almost perished of an elucidation which
the Altrurian bore with the sweetest patience.


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