Alpha Book

"But scared and humiliated as I am I realise that it was well that he
knocked. Even as I write to you here in my own room, behind locked
doors, I am burning with the shame of it.
"But I am _not_ that kind of woman, Phil; truly, truly, I am not. When
the foolish impulse seized me I had no clear idea of what I wanted
except to see you and learn for myself what you thought about Gerald's
playing at my house after I had promised not to let him.
"Of course, I understood what I risked in going; I realised what common
interpretation might be put upon what I was doing. But ugly as it might
appear to anybody except you, my motive, you see, must have been quite
innocent--else I should have gone about it in a very different manner.
"I wanted to see you, that is absolutely all; I was lonely for a
word--even a harsh one--from the sort of man you are. I wanted you to
believe it was in spite of me that Gerald came and played that night.
"He came without my knowledge. I did not know he was invited.


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