So she
passed on from the statue of St John, with her mind made up that
she did not want St John's aid. Some other saint she would want, no
doubt, and she prayed a little silent prayer to St Nicholas, that he
would allow her to marry the Jew without taking offence at her. Her
circumstances had been very hard, as the saint must know, and she had
meant to do her best. Might it not be possible, if the saint would help
her, that she might convert her husband? But as she thought of this,
she shook her head. Anton Trendellsohn was not a man to be changed in
his religion by any words which she could use. It would be much more
probable, she knew, that the conversion would be the other way. And she
thought she would not mind that, if only it could be a real conversion.
But if she were induced to say that she was a Jewess, while she still
believed in St Nicholas and St John, and in the beautiful face of the
dear Virgin--if to please her husband she were to call herself a Jewess
while she was at heart a Christian--then her state would be very
wretched.
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