Nina
knew that Rebecca was strong and good, and acknowledged also that she
herself was weak and selfish. She thought that she ought to have been
persuaded to make the sacrifice, and once or twice she almost resolved
that she would follow Rebecca to the Jews' quarter and tell her that it
should be made. But she could not do it. Were she to do so, what would
be left to her? With him she could bear anything, everything. To starve
would hardly be bitter to her, so that his arm could be round her
waist, and that her head could be on his shoulder. And, moreover, was
she not his to do with as he pleased? After all her promises to him,
how could she take upon herself to dispose of herself otherwise than as
he might direct?
But then some thought of the missing document came back upon her, and
she remembered in her grief that he suspected her--that even now he
had some frightful doubt as to her truth to him--her faith, which was,
alas, alas! more firm and bright towards him than towards that heavenly
Friend whose aid would certainly suffice to bring her through all her
troubles, if only she could bring herself to trust as she asked it.
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