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Swift, Jonathan, 1667-1745

"Bickerstaff-Partridge Papers"

If the
ladies have no regard to the dishonour and immorality of the
action, I desire they will consider, that nature who never
destroys her own productions, will exempt big-belly'd women till
the time of their lying-in; so that not to be transformed, will
be the same as to be pregnant. If they don't think it worth while
to defend a fortress that is to be demolish'd in a few days, let
them reflect that it will be a melancholy thing nine months
hence, to be brought to bed of a bastard; a posthumous bastard as
it were, to which the quondam father can be no more than a dry
nurse.
This wonderful transformation is the instrument of nature, to
balance matters between the sexes. The cruelty of scornful
mistresses shall be return'd; the slighted maid shall grow into
an imperious gallant, and reward her undoer with a big belly, and
a bastard.
It is hardly possible to imagine the revolutions that this
wonderful phaenomenon will occasion over the face of the earth. I
long impatiently to see the proceedings of the Parliament of
Paris, as to the title of succession to the crown, this being a
case not provided for by the salique law. There will be no
preventing disorders amongst friars and monks; for certainly vows
of chastity do not bind but under the sex in which they were
made. The same will hold good with marriages, tho' I think it
will be a scandal amongst Protestants for husbands and wives to
part, since there remains still a possibility to perform the
debitus conjugale, by the husband being femme couverte.


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