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Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander), 1882-1956

"Mr. Pim Passes By"

George and I have had some rather bad news,
Aunt Julia. We wanted your advice. Where will you sit?
LADY MARDEN. Thank you, Olivia. I can sit down by myself.
(_She does so, on lower end of settee_ R., _moving cushion away_.)
OLIVIA (_to_ DINAH). You sit there, my darling.
(DINAH _sits in arm-chair down_ L. _and_ OLIVIA _on settee_ L. _There is
a good pause_. ALL _are looking very uncomfortable_.)
LADY MARDEN. Well, what is it?
(_Another pause_. ALL _are still looking very uncomfortable_.)
Money, I suppose; nobody's safe nowadays.
(_There is another good pause_. GEORGE _looks up hopelessly at_ LADY
MARDEN. BRIAN _moves up inquisitively towards_ GEORGE, _who turns and
gradually raising his head catches sight of_ BRIAN _and gives him a
severe look and_ BRIAN _retreats quickly to back of_ L.C. _table_.)
GEORGE (_signalling for help_). Olivia----
OLIVIA (_after a pause_). We've just heard that my first husband is still
alive.
DINAH. Telworthy!
BRIAN. Good Lord!
LADY MARDEN. George!
DINAH (_excitedly_). And only this morning I was saying that nothing ever
happened in this house! (_Rising from arm-chair and sitting to_ L. _of_
OLIVIA _and remorsefully to her_.) Darling, I don't mean that. Darling
one!
LADY MARDEN. What does this mean, George? I leave you for ten minutes--
barely ten minutes--to go and look at the pigs, and when I come back you
tell me that Olivia is a bigamist.


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